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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: The Little Voice In My Head.

It's been a while since my last post. Things have been getting pretty crazy. With the rise in popularity and common knowledge that the Skull Man's Box Wars now occupies, and the up and coming projects and campaigns ahead, I managed to neglect several things.

Serious alcoholism is one of them, Thank fuck. But mostly I refer to this superior publication.
I haven't been posting as as should. I'm sure everyone would love to hear how I draw a line of association between a girl submitting to a gang-bang is like pissing off a rattle snake, and if I'd stop badgering people online, I would've done that shit.

Things on a day to day basis in my life is like trying to pull a strawberry stem out of an over-flowing, raging blender, and waiting for the damn thing to surface and spill into my hand won't always work, so I gotta dip the digits in there and get the fuckin thing out.

Three weeks ago, 14 people participated in Skull Man's Box Wars in front of like 8 or 9 cameras. The footage has expanded like the bellies of the motherfucking huge rats that circle my chain suspended bed as I get just enough sleep to keep from falling into the T.T.C. train's path on my way to work.

I got a job as a Head Cook in the yuppie hive known as Yorkville, and tried to do that while hold a construction job at the same time. Unfortunately, the management of this boutique is full of the lack of marketing it would take to fill the fuckin place and put the poor chef under enough pressure to call me out in front of the rest of the staff when he tried to blame me for not showing up for the shifts he said he'd alert me to.

Which, if you knew me, you would call just stupid.

So, after telling the guy that he really didn't understand the industry which he himself is a part of, and that if he worked in more than two places rather than reading books in school and playing in a controled kitchen invironment at George Brown, maybe he'd know a thing or two more, I informed him in front of the rest of his hirees, that he isn't fooling me by exploding and trying to pass the buck on me like I fucked up.

If you want to point your finger at some one, try to hide the three pointing back at you a little better.

Fuckin first timers.

I thought maybe after weeks earlier when I told him that I set an Irishman's face on fire at the Gorilla Monsoon, that he'd think twice about fuckin with me. But no, he hadn't, and with the look that said calm down before I make this as bad as I possible can for you which is lots more than it is now, I said

"Okay, now that's done...(leaving him the option if he still wanted to take me up on it, staring right in his eyes)
How am I gonna get my money?"

I got some damn good schooling from a wide variety of lunatics that with little effort maintain a family, a house, a job, a social life, and will let themselves of the fuckin chain when it comes to getting paid for their skilled services. You guys want to know the thirteenth comandment is?

"Fuck you, Pay me."

Thanks, Purky.
Not even a baseball bat in the head can stop you. I should be so lucky to get even a verse like that without having to pay for it even though realistically, brutal, drunken/hungover manual labour jobs under his command allowed me to hear him say it to customers enough to take it as if he was giving me a sage chunk of wisdom.

And Chefee is going to pay, oh yeah, he'll pay. They all do.
In one way or another. they all do.

With all that under my belt, the job having been a gift from The Ben's reference, whom I worked with on the other side of the servers window, interestingly, got out before the pot over-flowed. I should've seen it for what it was, a growing pain in a new kitchen, with no drugs or alcohol to soothe the bitch, which I can happily imagine the fuckin assholes all climbing in to bed with each other right now, and waking up to rubbing their stretched corn-holes trying to figure out who fucked who in the morning.

Why do people have to be such huge fuckin fuck-offs?
I'm trying to figure it out without actually keeping any upstairs, even though the fuckers don't respond to logic outside their own, which you have to have at least a working knowledge of in order to keep afloat the backstabbing and shit talk. Not easy.

I tryed to have lunch the other day on Avenue and Lawrence, at some heinously over-priced pub. I sat at the end of the tight little patio, dirty as Hell's pits from ripping out a whole floor of lathe and plaster, facing away from the couple at the other end in order to not offend them with my fuck off I'm thinkin face and body odour that could drop you and raise the dead. And at that end, where there is only two rows of tables divided by a slender walkway, a child of 10ish, a late twenties son, and what appeared to be the mother, sat right begoddamnedside me. The oldest male, having not seen me, for the shit in his eyes and the danger radar being off, started talking about the time he was at this very location not long ago.

Have you ever seen a dog tied up outside a Starbucks and thought, I'd like to tie this poor animals owner to a post and start up with the face kicking?
I do. All the time.

This blind fool starts talking about the time last when he took his dog to the bar, which he considerately tied outside, and went in for a drink, where he was confronted by a woman who called him on it. Unfortunately from the sounds of it, she didn't have the mustad to burn this guy properly, and he came back with something like 'don't you have anything else to be happy about that you have to bother me with this issue?'

Now, I suspect that this guy was probably altering the story slightly and for his sake wasn't doing it to prove to the pile of volitile dust beside him that he's full of righteousness and will continue to sit where he wants dispite clear indications that stinky over here isn't even close to impressed and is leaning towards making some brash statements of his own, regardless of the virgin ears they were holding company with.

I just dropped my head. A big, fat, wide, long, toothy grin ripped across my face, as my closed eyes knotted a brow and pulled it down to my nose and sent the ends of up to my hair line. All of which were obviously a responce to his stupidity; about to become the solution to my damn what am I gonna do with this shitty attitude I got here.

Slowly, as if by some massive volume knob, he began to get quieter, and quieter, untill he stopped. Then, as if he just had a Feng Suai moment of inlightenment, voiced that maybe the three of them should move to the table a couple back.

First good idea all day, by the sounds of it.

This is quite enough out of me.
Restraint. sometimes good, sometimes not.

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE.
GOD HELP ALL YOU ASSHOLES.
YOU'RE GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO IGNORE.
AND THE LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD IS GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER, AND THEY WANT TO DRIVE, BY THE SOUNDS OF IT.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I find your mag a fantastic look at what the fuck. I am impressed that you have manage to learn and teach as much as you have in your life so far. You are wise beyond your years and a true being to the bitter end. Your mag does not pull any punches. It is what this fucked up world needs more than people know. If only for a moment people would stop and think. Your effort's do not go unnoticed and the voice's in my head all of them are behind you all the way. All the people at IssueZero must be great, for you to allow them in your circle. A big fuckin Kudo's to you and the team keep up the good work. And ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.