ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: ISSUE ZERO: WORKING CLASS ROCKSTAR

FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Friday, June 6, 2008

ISSUE ZERO: WORKING CLASS ROCKSTAR

This Monday, which, if you ask me, is great day to go see a movie about heavy metal, and then go see some metal shows, I'm gonna go see a movie about some heavy metal, and holymotherfuck am I gonna see some heavy metal shows. The basic agenda is this. Show up, produce press passes, enter, watch movie while drinking through a case of cheep, domestic, gut-rotting beer smuggled in and drank loudly, pause/reflect/purge, and while maintaining steel-spine composure, interview director Justin McConnell (esteamed director,) interview BLOODSHOT EYE, POLKADOT CADAVER, NO ASSEMBLY REQURIED, and 3 MILE SCREAM, then, put my trusted cameraman, Mr. Robitiks, (the man that no poison can corrupt) in such a location at the ANNEX WRECK ROOM that will be condusive to his feverish drinking problem as well as fasilitating a sturdy base for the camera (the bar) to take some hellawicked footage of some GOD DAMNED HARDCORE CANADIAN HEAVY METAL.

Will a certain recently-added-to-the-clergy, mildly explosive man in a bearface make an appearence crowd-surfing, bathing in liquor, and making out with the stacks of speakers?

You can bet your whole fuckin torso I will.
On that wager, you can tack your house, soul, and everything the good King Midas ever put his greedy little fingers on, and his fingers.

STAY TUNED ZEROITES,
THIS IS NOT A TEST.