A STRONGHOLD OF PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS, MUSICIANS, WRITERS, AND CERTIFIABLE A-1 LUNATIC GUERRILLA PROMOTERS OF OUR GREAT FROZEN TUNDRA. WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR....

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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: HOLY HELL ON EARTH, IT'S ABOUT TO GET SUMMER IN THIS PIECE.


Well, well, well, Summer, we've been expecting you.

This summer is gonna be sick as fudge. Between different projects, I'm going to try and find some time for the truest of summer pass-times: getting half-naked, sweaty-drunk.
Not like power-drunk, more like, been-at-all-day, I'm-down-for-whatever drunk.
Which brings me to this: I have a problem with Summer, even though I really like luke-warm nights passed out on a dock, and that's there's not always something to do.

Here's a couple of suggestions, should boredom strike you.

1 Get to the lake. It's perfectly human to get a lift off that.
2 Call your girly up... (awe... that's just nice...)
3 Create company. Build stencils, t-shirts, posters, and stack up on aerosol glue. Print stickers, fliers and banners, and blanket them everywhere. Bomb out a bunch of canvasses, murals, and gear, and create stock. Design a route to take advantage of people flow, and sell pieces while doing radically under priced performance art. By night, poster and stencil company logo over, beside, and under every damn thing from here to there. Gate-crash elitist designer parties and Wreakhouse. (See: gate-crashing a RGD seminar.) Dominate a 15 by 20 foot section of Queen and Spadina sidewalk. (with fuckin lead-based paint in case someone was looking to have it stick around like the yellow line on the street.) INVADE YORKVILLE. Eat breakfast. BUY A BULLHORN, or "find" one. Hassle advertising agencies and design firms, relentlessly. Orchestrate a series of publicity stunts and guerrilla advertisments. Draw something "nice." DONT LEAVE THE FUCKIN BBQ ON. Invite a gang of people over to your joint, crack drinks, crank tunes, and light it the Helloff. Lake-side jams, all night. Brand your lifestyle, and introduce mandatory membership. Hammer like 20 beers down and go tubbing with your crazy buddies. Urban exploration: under-rated. "Crash" and "Parties." Hard. Powerfuck. Get lifted.
Find that little thing that does it for you.
Take in a sunrise with having actually slept the night before.
Listen to the birds.

Raise Hell, and relax in Heaven.

Yeah, so there's three good ideas.
Oh yeah, one last thing...
DO NOT MISS THE LCBO BEFORE HOLIDAYS. ("Man that sucks")

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE STRONGLY ADVOCATES THE SECOND AND THRID IDEA...It's because sweaty summer sex and ruthless guerrilla campaigns keeps things interesting. The lake's nice, but not that nice.

-keep it real.