A STRONGHOLD OF PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS, MUSICIANS, WRITERS, AND CERTIFIABLE A-1 LUNATIC GUERRILLA PROMOTERS OF OUR GREAT FROZEN TUNDRA. WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR....

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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Saturday, December 27, 2008

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: THIRD EYE MEGA

IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH TEN SEXY MEGA PIXELS?
PROBABLY TAKE FUN LITTLE SNAPS OF FLOWERS AND DOGS AND SHIT.
WELL, HERE AT ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE, WE'D LIKE TO THINK WE ANSWER TO A HIGHER CALLING.
LIKE THE INFAMOUS CIRCULAR BREATHING TECHNIQUE I USE TO POWERDRINK.
THANKS TO LONDON FOR THE KICK ASS CAMERA.
...YOU SEXY LITTLE MONSTER.

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Monday, December 22, 2008

THE BORN DESTROYERS @ QUEEN AND BATHURST.

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE WENT TO THE BIG BOP AT QUEEN AND BATHURST TO SEE THE BORN DESTROYERS. WE HAD A KILLER GOOD TIME. IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF AT A BORN DESTROYER SHOW, AND YOU AREN'T FULLY GOING APE-SHIT-NUTS, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU AIN'T CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE STAGE THAT THEY CAN SEE YOU, OR YOUR SORRY ASS IS TOAST.
BECAUSE IF THEY DON'T GET YOU, I SURE AS FUCK WILL.
LONG LIVE HEAVY METAL.

BY THE WAY, THE CONTEST MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO IS LEGIT, IF YOU CAN DESIGN THE FEARED "VAGINA MONSTER" DESCRIBED IN THIS VIDEO, AS CLOSELY AS POSSIBLE TO THE DESCRIPTION GIVEN, THE BORN DESTROYERS AND ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE, WILL HOOK YOU THE FUCK UP.

SEND ENTREES TO WWW.ISSUEZERO@GMAIL.COM

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE PRESENTS: THE BORN DESTROYERS.

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SEE? WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?
THAT'S RIGHT. NOW WIPE YOUR CHIN AND GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR WALLET, GET YOUR BORN DESTROYERS TICKET, AND GO GET YOUR HEAD THOROUGHLY PULVERIZED AT THE OPERA HOUSE THIS SATURDAY AT 9:30, FOR ANOTHER INSTALMENT OF THE TYPE OF ROCK AND ROLL THAT MIGHT JUST SAVE THE GOD DAMNED WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: INVADE MUSKOKA.

There comes a time in everyone's life, when someone drops the bomb on you. Bombs can come in many forms. Some measure potential damage of said device against x amounts of TNT. Some can be made out of the things you can find in your very own home.
But the kind I am referring to now, is the kind made out of a simple true statement, specifically, one made to me, by a good friend of mine.

"I have a hundred acre lot in Muskoka you can use to throw a festival."

Shortly after I ran a couple of worst case scenarios and best possible outcomes through my head, I took a big, throat-rupturing chug of Canadian Whiskey, and through some wincing and choking, I thanked my good friend.

After which, we got royally shit-faced.
Like, fall-off-the-throne-drunk type of shit-faced.

Where is this magical century of acreage?
All you need to know for now, is that yes, it most certainly does exist, and for all intents and purposes, WE ARE GOING TO THROW THE MOTHER OF ALL FESTIVALS IN THAT FIELD, SO HELP ME GOD, MARK MY WORDS, IT WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR A LONG TIME TO COME.

This project is only in its Genesis, and already, Bill Orchard and friends of Psycho Ward Clothing Co., bands, Dj's, sound and lighting crews, vendors, and my own personal film crew SCDigital, ran by Steve Cairns, have gotten on board for our little fuckshow.

The ones that will be forced against their will won't be notified until the last minute.
Sorry, but what would a fucking great idea be without some hostages?
Well, I guess they're just "kidnapped" until we use them as leverage, then they'd become hostages...
Whatever.
I'm just fucking around.

Kinda. Yeah, no, I guess I mean it.

Look, the important thing to remember here is that there is gonna be a wicked weekend-long festival in Muskoka where you can park your ass down for 72 hours and get mental to some killer good tunes, and you'll be missed if you don't come.

Look to the sky in the city of Toronto, cuz our special brand of advertising is coming to a highly visible space, real soon.

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE HAS THE SPOT.
AND IF YOU LISTEN, REALLY CAREFULLY, YOU CAN HEAR GOD FILLING OUT LIFE INSURANCE PAPERWORK, AND MAKING THE SPACE UNDER HIS BED BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM AND MARY.

CAN YOU SURVIVE THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE 72 HOUR CHALLENGE?

IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF A BAND, OR YOU ARE A DJ, AUDITIONS ARE BEING HELD IN THE FUTURE. CONTACT US AT WWW.ISSUEZERO@GMAIL.COM