A STRONGHOLD OF PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS, MUSICIANS, WRITERS, AND CERTIFIABLE A-1 LUNATIC GUERRILLA PROMOTERS OF OUR GREAT FROZEN TUNDRA. WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR....

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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Monday, February 11, 2008

ISSUE ZERO: A HELLAHOT DAY IN HEAVEN.

In 20 degrees below zero temperature in our good city, all I can think about is how the hell there can be a hell anywhere near Canada, or Russia, for that matter. This stunning revelation leads me to believe that this fact is somehow in connection with the fact that we live in the best country in the world, and why Russia hasn't split open a hellmouth and sucked in all the sinners that I'm almost positive they must have from all the triple-distiled Vodka. This means God must bless our frozen liquor-drinkin digits, or simply admits it's too god damned cold to do anything about it.
Let me just say, to every Russian, and every Canadian that makes it past the pearly gates, and you make it to the thermostat, we're all behind you when you reef that motherfucker up.
ISSUE ZERO FEROCIOUSLY PROMOTES AND STRONGLY ADVOCATES SHINANIGHANS IN THE AFTER-LIFE

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