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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Friday, April 25, 2008

ISSUE ZERO: ChemicalRobotiks: Not all cigarettes are created equal



So here's the story. I left the bar last night and had six dollars (cash money) in my pocket and a need for a fucking cigarette. What pack of cigarettes can you get for six bucks you ask? Well, several, actually, and all of them are whole new realms of foul. Lets name them off shall we: Putters, Chiefs, no name native shit, Natives, Dis Count(yes, it is spelled like that), DKs, Podium and a whole shit storm of others I cant even remember right now. Anyways, back to the story. I enter this shit-hole of a convince story with my six dollars and ask, what pack can I get in here, while thinking about all the terrible possibilities. Low and behold, I found a whole new level of low. The brand he handed me is called TRAD-A rouge, its a red pack with lightning on the cover, it only coasts 6 bucks for a large king, and these could easily be the harshest cigarettes I have ever fucking smoked. They don't taste like a cigarette at all, actually, more like if you were inhaling the smoke from burning paper. Yum. To top it all off and really drive the message home that these are some ghetto-ass cigarettes, one of them, right in the center, was actually ripped in half. It looks like someone ripped one for Batch, put it back in, and sealed the pack. Fuck, if you see these, don't be enticed by the crazy cheap price, put them down and walk away slowly, if not for me then for your lungs sake. They will thank you in the morning.

2 comments:

Bret said...

so did you finnish the pack?

Chemical Robotiks said...

cant say i did