A STRONGHOLD OF PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS, MUSICIANS, WRITERS, AND CERTIFIABLE A-1 LUNATIC GUERRILLA PROMOTERS OF OUR GREAT FROZEN TUNDRA. WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR....

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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Thursday, August 14, 2008

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: STEVE CAIRNS DIGITAL



















STEVE CAIRNS HAS A FUCKIN WICKED TATTOO OF BAGPIPES MADE OF ANIMALS SKIN SEWN TOGETHER WITH A BONE FOR A PIPE AND SAPLINGS FOR DRONES.
AND I DESIGNED IT.
That's pretty dope. I'm stoked. Totally Gonzo. No shit.
It took about ten hours, a couple hoots, a bunch of drinks, and almost a whole pack of smokes to get it from a suggestion lightly announced in passing conversation with my old drinking buddy, and damn good friend, Steve Cairns, and completed on a single page, inked and detailed almost exactly as you see it floating just beneath his epidermis depicted above.

It should be mentioned that Stevie had a shit load to drink the night before, and holy God so had I. And after a couple beers, Steve hit the mats....on the floor...in the living room...and was snoring and kinda trying to jog in his sleep like any good hung over Scottish troll would when the Sandman lets you dream.

Would this deter me? Not in this life. I stepped over Steve about as many times as it took to smoke a whole pack and get high in his pantry. (Lots.) I cracked beers loudly and made my self at home. By the the 7 hour mark, I had gone through several pages of thumbnails and was using the Family Guy DVD collection playing on the TV as a light table. And when the tenth and final hour rose, I had that shit down right sexy. Plus, I'm sure I was sure I was in a sleep depraved hallucination, which history (Jerry Henri) had taught me wisely,
NEVER DO THE THIRD DAY.
T(he)y couldn't have said it better. I wrapped a pillow around my head, cushioning it from any -Ality stimuli, exposing only my nose to breath, and dodged another sunrise like a cat off the Projects roof-tops, and blacked out like a kite into the storm.

When Steve told me that he had finally got the tattoo, I was already on my way to drop by unannounced, which made the drive a little interesting all of a sudden. Actually, I was peeking out into the phone while trying to out do a tailgating Mustang at a buck 40 in an Echo on the 400 while my lovely and eheeheeheasily excitable fiance Miss London, pranced about in shotgun, gitty as a dangerous firecracker mishap, showing off her back muscles, and it still kinda kicks major fuckin ass right now as a matter of fact, actually. As an added bonus, Danielle, Steve's(Freak-O's) wife had gotten the footprint of their daughter, Lillian, carved right into the spinal summit. (Personal Note: 5 of my old time crazy fuckin lunatic nutcase drinking buddies, now have daughters. One of them has two. They will, most likely, all be crazy, as well. Especially with random visits from crazy-as-hell, "Everytime he's over, something turns up blown up" Uncle Johnny and Auntie Lorna showing up.)
The pair of the them where so sweet and so fucking cute the Sacrament almost rejected the Host.

You know what I mean.

After Dark Tattoos, congradufuckinlations, which ever of the lot of you that threw that down, made it bounce, cuz that there is some Pile-Driver of a Bag Pipe.

ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE IS ONE PROUD UP, AND IS STRONGLY SUGGESTIVE TO BARTER IN RESOLVING THE TATTOO ISSUE I HAVE.

FURTHURMORE, CHECK THEIR FUCKIN DOPE GALLERY AT
WWW.AFTERDARKTATTOOS.COM AND SIGN YOURSELF UP. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, MY ANNUAL TWO-WEEK-LONG BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP, RIGHT AFTER THE SOON TO REFERED TO AS "THE BOXWARS TO END ALL BOXWARS" SKULL MAN'S BOXWARS IN THE NORTH PIT IN TRINITY BELLWOODS PARK, QUEEN STREET WEST, TORONTO, ONTARIO, CANADA, EARTH, CANISTER 19, VILE # ALPHA DISCO HYPER DISCo, WHERE URSA MEGA, TORONTO'S ANTIVILLIAN, IS GOING TO EXACTO-UP SOME PANDAMONIUM.

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