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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Monday, November 10, 2008

ISSUE ZERO: ChemicalRobotiks: Art Show Destroyed


I'm surprised, at this point that no one else on Issue Zero has wrote about this yet, so let me just dive right in. This is only my take on the events of that night and to get a better understanding of ti you probably should have been there. Okie dokie, it was a dark and stormy night, nope, it was Friday evening. I had been hanging out with Tyler Mother Fucking Jackson (Brother of Eric Mother Fucking Jackson) all day playing Call of Duty 4 and waiting for some art show by some asshole I had never heard of before(he did that last Vespa add campaign where the people had Vespa heads). We grabbed some of the usual previsions, wine(for tyler), malt liquor(for myself), and a few king cans and set off to the art show. Along the way we ran into to extremely coked out pork-chops that looked like a floor buffer had run over them because of the lovely shine they had. They too joined our party and again we were off to the show.

Ok, so at this point we are at the show. It's in a large warehouse where the inside had been converted into what looked like a down town Toronto street, complete with bus stop and shelter. There were leaves on the ground and some small tree like things had been set up. I'm guessing that his art work was building this mock city street inside of the building as more than once we were asked to stop leaning on the dudes work. whatever, the dudes stuff was balls, but that aside the party was roaring. There were a ton of people in there, $2.50 beer, and all of us. Shortly after getting there URSA MEGA comes through with more beer, booze, and his crazy-as-fuck self and the Voltron is complete.

We weren't there for long before we starting shutting that bitch down. Tyler gets into a fight with some graffiti crew over the bathroom line, doesn't back down and shuts them the fuck up. The two coked up pork-chops are ripping at the trees set up in show and all around loosing it. URSA MEGA is covering the place in stickers, and drinking like a fish. And I am trying to unscrew the bus stop that was bolted to the ground(I got one bolt off, which I still have, the other almost all the way off but I lost interest). Some dude I know named Paul was also there and he was trying to get me to talk to Tyler about the beef with the graffiti guys and trying to get the pork-chops out (which he thought were Puerto Ricans.) I really didn't give a shit what he was talking about and had no interest in doing either so I asked him to grab me a beer, then I walked away.

We ended up at Paul's house were we partied well into the night. This part I don't remember too well but I remember there was a bunch of people there losing their god damned minds. I also remember being in a McDonald's and Tyler trying to open a locked door...with his foot.

All and all, a solid fucking night. There was a bunch of other shit that happened but I think this is getting a little long. If any other Issue Zero mother fuckers want to fill in any gaps I may have missed, please, be my guest.

either which way, ART SHOW DESTROYED...

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