ISSUE ZERO: Chemical Robotiks: TORONTO'S VENUE REVIEW

If you live in Toronto and your looking for a chilled out spot to listen to some good music in a decent environment, some dancing, and no one raining on your sunshine, I suggest these:

#1: Comfort Zone - Total drug nest. great music (some serious house every now and then). pretty good environment. Laid back bouncers (your drugs will get in with little to no effort). Cool crowd. And, you go there enough and people remember you

#2: Blak - Drugs are discouraged but they do a fucking 12 hour party from Saturday to Sunday. they do a different style of electronic music every night of the week so you can go on the night of music you like. You get patted down at the door but its all for show, there not really looking for shit. They will kick you out if you look too high but you can always come back tomorrow. only down side is sometimes you have to line up in a gnarly ally. cover: none before 11 most night. 20$ after I think. Don't pay that shit. Just bitch at the ticket guy. You can usually talk him down

#3: Sound Academy(docks) - future sound does there shit here and a lot of people hate on these mother fuckers because hey say their not rave enough. Bullshit fagots. They might not be as hardcore a drug nest as the other two above it but Jesus mother fucking Christ. They get the best acts. a lot of international djs come through this spot. The parties are all 6+ hours and no one really cracks on you for being way too fucked up on drugs. Another bonus for all the kiddies is that there parties are all ages (usually, with a 19+ area for drinking but you can have your beer can with you wile you dance on the floor). This is the biggest venue out of these three so far as the other two resemble a large basement someone is trying to pass as a club. Cover: most things they throw you have to buy a ticket at Numb or Play de Record in advance. They go from 20$ in advance to as much as 35-40$ at the door

#4: Fun Haus - Honestly, this place doesn't really have the rave thing going on but they do do some pretty fun dress up nights. I went there for retro zombie night and had a fucking blast. Nothing but 80's music and cracked out kids dressed as zombies. This spot is pretty chilled. You can come there when ever. Sit around. Listen to loud music and drink cheap as fuck beer. I don't know what you call relaxing but thats how I chill the fuck out.

#5: Tonic - Pretty standard ass hyped way too much club. I think its 19+ but the kiddies flock to this mother fucker like it saves lives. The only positive is that on Tuesdays I believe they do crazy cheap drinks. Like 2 dollar beers. Other then that, fuck this spot

#6: Distrik (I think thats how their spelling it) - Gay as shit. Most nights, if not all of them are all ages which makes for a pretty bad environment. Drinks are the usual prices. Lines are long, because the kiddies come out in flocks. and holy fuck. I'm not really down with Ginos, and this place is full of them. I added this spot because TO EACH THEIR OWN. just because I don't like it doesn't mean you wont too and the club actually looks alright inside cover: depends on the time or if there throwing a party.

#7: Lime Light - Another gay as fuck all ages club. Avoid like the plague. There is no saving grace to the club. Wait, I take it back. This club has a really nice lounge area where you can drink and sit on some comfy couches. As you can tell I hate this place but inside looks cool and if your not into more of the rave thing then in a drug den you might like this place better. Cover: depends on what time you come of if there trying to throw a party

#8: Savage Garden - I wouldn't really call it much of a club. still a pretty cool spot to chill and drink a few from time to time. they get some pretty ok acts to play as well. I find it kinda hit and miss

#9: Bovine Sex Club - Again, I wouldn't really consider this place as a club. its more of a bar but its still pretty fun at the end of the night and since a few of the clubs listed earlier are near it, its a good spot to play a game of pool or something after you get out(if its early enough)

#10: M - Honestly, I don't expect many people reading this to know this spot. It's an after hours club(is that what there calling it). It's like a bar where you can get a drink long after its legal to serve alcohol. It will cost you, but the price is still better then most down town clubs. cover: I've seen guys pay 5 dollars but I've never seen a chick pay.

#11: Reverb/Holy Joes/Big Bop - Their all in the same fucking building. The place looks a little worn down. If you come there out of the blue you might catch something cool. I have gone there a few times just to have a few drinks and chill out for a bit and heard some pretty cool music

#12: Government - Probably Toronto's best known club. It's big. It's right by the water. They get a lot of acts. Most of the time the parties they throw are just a bunch of hype. Fliers everywhere gets people talking and building it up. When you go, a lot of time, you feel ripped off. The ticket prices to their parties are high which makes the burn that much worse. Cover: depends on the party. the door price is steep and the line is long.

#13: Cherry Beach Parties - Figure it out dumb ass. It's an outdoor party at cherry beach. It isn't legal. The cops do come. Get ready to run. The bus getting out there is fucked and takes forever but the vibe can be ok. A few people got stabbed out there last year (or maybe it was two) and they keep saying things are different but it still is a little sketch. Whatever, its cool and illegal.

#14: Trance in your Pants - Cool trance party I went to out in Mississauga. I cant remember the club but the party was pretty good. I think there held pretty annually. That's about all I can remember. Fun, but I think its was expensive. (Don't quote me, some one dragged me there)

#15: Purple Heaven - Another annual party.(I think) I can't remember much about this one at all except that it was fun. Check it out if it's still going.

#16: Circa - Pretty ok. Plays pretty good music. Pretty very good actually, with a great vibe. Check it out. A lot of people really dig this place. I though it was alright but a lot of others love the fuck out of it. Large spot, lots to see. Kind of like a whole lot of a whole lot. Check it out. I can't really explain it. Think rooms and displays and crazy bullshit. There is a big dance floor in this mother and a stage type deal. High hopes mother lovers, high hopes. I think they also do art exhibits and a bunch of other bullshit during the week but they're a club on the weekend.

#17: Body English - I actually haven't been to this spot yet (but im sure I will go in time) but everyone says it is the shit. I don't know. Doesn't sound like the kind of scene I dig but maybe you do. Check it out. Everyone I have talked to said it was dope and all the chicks I have talked to about it said it was the shit. Like best club ever type bullshit from the female side. Meh, if I check it ill keep y'all posted.

#18: Young Arcade - It's not a club but it stays open all night, its fun as hell, and it's flooded with drugs. They keep their machines pretty well updated and and it's rare one of them will be out of order. The owners are assholes but fuck them anyways. Another really cool part about this place is that they have a large pinball section if your into that and the whole back area is like the history of arcade gaming. Pac man, Arkanoid, original mario, Centipede, there all there to give you a proper blast of retro flavor and its actually kind of fun to play them because it's not often you see these machines.

I like going out, and I like to go to a lot of different places. If you haven't noticed, I didn't add the location. If you wanna go I'm sure you can find it, and, thats half the fun of a spot, finding it.