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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Friday, April 11, 2008

ISSUE ZERO:Chemical Robotiks: I HATE FEIST!

Howdy partner. Heres a little something I need to get off my chest. It involves a bitch and her god awful band known as Feist, Leslie Feist to be exact, but who really gives a fuck. You probably heard her song on that Ipod commercial. You know the one, the Ipod nano commercial where they keep peeling them back and her fucking song is playing on each of the screens. That was the first time I had ever heard that song, and I thought, ok, fuck it, good for her, she got payed. I would be over joyed too if I was a relativity unknown artist that hadn't even really broken into tv or radio play yet and I sold a song to be used in an Apple commercial. You know the bitch is getting payed for that one. I figured she would get payed and go the fuck back to where ever she came from, like any other one hit wonder, but no, I was wrong as a mother fucker.

The rage really came to a boil after watching the Junos this year. she won 5, count 'em, 5 mother fucking Junos to a chick that was only ever heard of because Apple saw something in her funky ass. They should have given those awards to Apple, as a thank you for telling us all which artists we now like and what is trendy. Honestly, Feist sucks ass, she sucked in Broken Social Scene(which as a whole sucks a fair bit of ass) and she sucks now as a solo artist. She has no stage presence, her vocals sound like the scared whimpers of a battered house wife, she can't play that fucking guitar she lugs on stage with her, listen to her play, its one fucking note over and over again, and she even dances and holds the fucker up like she is deep in some crazy ass solo. People need to get their heads out of their fucking asses and stop being such a bunch of sheep.

Here's another thing, stop calling that bitch indie, or underground, or any of the other names they use to describe her like she is some off the beat hipster. The day she took that giant check from Apple and was jetted right up front in the public eye was the day she forfeited her underground membership card. She is as mainstream as you can get at this point. Her song played on that Apple commercial three and four time every half hour for months, no one hasn't heard of her at this point. Watch her performance at the Junos, if you aren't totally sickened by her I commend you.

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