A STRONGHOLD OF PROFESSIONAL ARTISTS, MUSICIANS, WRITERS, AND CERTIFIABLE A-1 LUNATIC GUERRILLA PROMOTERS OF OUR GREAT FROZEN TUNDRA. WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR....

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FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Thursday, April 10, 2008

ISSUE ZERO: KINDRED CAFE; between Here and Reality.












DIRECTIONS.
  • Find yourself at Wellsley Station.
  • Go one block South.
  • Go one Half a block West.
  • Face South, yer lookin at it.
At first glance the Kindred Cafe is a wonderful use of Stucco, a towering mass of white framed windows, and what at first and incorrectly seems to be a pretty big chimney. That is actually the clientèle smoking whatever they can get their shaky little Cancer/Glaucoma/Epilepsyhands on...because this is a safe haven for the dangerously sick that need to. Kindred casually allows others to visit, too. How would you even ask anyways?
"Are you sure you're sick, man?
You look fine to me, dude..."
Fuckin stoners.

But the fun doesn't stop there, no sir! The extremely paranoid (they were a bit retentive about a bear-masked man posing at their counter without permission, hey! better to ask for forgiveness..) service-staff offer a wide selection of gourmet coffee, a fully functional kitchen, and milkshakes packed to the god damned eye-balls with the good, sweet Cheeba we all remember stealing from our old man, and by that I mean, the really strong stuff.

The building is four floors tall, if you include the rooftop patio, where you can get, as Snoop Dogg would say, "high as a muthafuck." (pictured above)

The two floors in between are single rooms that can be rented for a measly $10 per hour, which is a stupid thing for Kindred to do, considering each room is equipped with PS3's, XBOX 360's, satalite feeds, big-ass flat screens, and leather couches and smoking parafinailia, like pipes, and The Volcano, (retail $900) a professional vaporizer. Plus, each rooms door locks from the inside, for all those stoner's that can actually get it up after inhaling anything out of the Volcano. (Me.)

When you try to strike up a conversation with the average customer at Kindreds, the most excited response you'll get is the one you give them after trying to get them to fuckin even talk, cuz those people are there for one thing, and one thing only...to get lit, God bless their martyrdom.

ISSUE ZERO SALUTES KINDRED CAFE FOR THEIR EFFORTS TO EASY THE PAIN OF THE SERIOUSLY SICK, (kudos) AND LETTING ME AND MY BOYS TO COME IN AND GET FUCKIN RETARDED.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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