ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: Smirkin' when drivin'

FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Friday, August 29, 2008

Smirkin' when drivin'

I brave the 401 every day to get to the office. And every day on the 401, at least one thing amuses, shocks, or angers me. At least one.

Today, I drove behind a Volvo going about 20km an hour, because, you know, it was SPITTING rain so OBVIOUSLY everyone had to slow down. Anyway, I noticed he had a bumper sticker that read, "Fight Violence".

Oh, you Volvo driver. So clever, so cunning, so revolutionary. And yet, so, so ambiguous.

Yes, let's "fight violence", you moron. Let's do it together.

As soon as I got to my office, I was inspired to search for random bumper sticker sayings, and I decided to post the ones I deemed blog-worthy for your enjoyment.

Look Out! I Drive Just Like You!
If the Screams From My Trunk Bother You, Just Turn Up the Radio
Jesus is Coming, Look Busy
Women Love Exclamation Points!!!!!! But they hate periods
Support Cannibalism...Eat Me
8 Out of 10 Voices Inside My Head Say Don't Shoot
Drugs Lead Nowhere...But It's a Scenic Route
Wanna Come into Money? Put a Dime in Your Condom
333--I'm a Devil Doing a Half-Assed Job
Chaos--Panic--Fear...My Work Here is Done

See you on the road! ~London