ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE: ISSSUE ZERO: One Per Hour.

FOR ALL LAWYERS AND CONCERNED CITIZENS

THE METHODS OF PERSUASION USED BY THE ISSUE ZERO MAGAZINE "STREET TEAM" ARE COMMITTED BY A FACTION OF OUR ADMINISTRATION, AND THOUGH WE SUPPORT THEM IN VOICE, THEIR ACTIONS ARE NOT OUR OWN.

OBJECTIVES SUCH AS:
1 STICKER PLACEMENT ON SOUGHT AFTER, GENRE AND STYLE-SPECIFIC PRODUCTS, I.E. CD'S, CLOTHING, BOOKS AND SIGNS,
2 USE OF STENCILS AND AEROSOL, INK,
3 POSTERS AND TICKET TAPING,
4 RAISING AWARENESS IN ANY FORM, AND IN ANY ELEMENT, OR MEDIA.

THESE ARE THE ACTIONS OF RENEGADE, GUERRILLA PROMOTIONS OFFICERS WHO RAISE OUR FLAG.

THX, MGMT

Friday, January 25, 2008

ISSSUE ZERO: One Per Hour.

I must have drank about 8 shots of Jack Daniels and about 7 beer in about two, maybe three, probably two hours. Nobody lives forever, only in the minds of our audience do we outlive our bodies. I came right to the edge of that chance at terrrible infamy. Good thing Security showed up. Who in the hell came up with Strip Hop? It's like they had no concern for the old-school strip club rules of engagement. First of all, when did they start letting people wear hats in there? Secondly, the last time I heard about somebody getting on stage and not gettting absolutely destroyed by a row of jacked up bouncers was my buddy Steve's birthday in the Bracebridge Albian. Much to my shock and awe, they let dudes wearing hats on the stage. I should be thankful I remember that. That, and sleeping beside a car in the parking lot beside Kennedy's Strip Club, in probably 17 degrees below zero.
Blood Money, if you're reading this, sorry about the ring. And the car ride. And everything else I'm sure I did, but can't remember.
Let this be a lesson, 1 per hour.